this is my kismet

something short and sweet. embracing the unknown and uncomfortable one step at a time.

I tried to cry today. Hoping the warmth from my tears would bring me comfort. Nothing came out and so we move.

It’s been a minute since I’ve put words to the page. Weirdly, this state of malaise is what pushed me to write but I guess it makes sense because I have finally run out of distractions to turn to. Very few things have been on my mind as of late. My brain is stuck in a fog which explains why I’ve been avoiding writing like the plague. As the beginning of my sophomore year looms anxieties fill my mind. Who do I want to be? What goals do I want to achieve? How do I want to close out this year? I feel restless. Days keep passing, and dreams and visions for the future, blurry as they might be are still unactualized. I can’t tell if I meant to be patient, take the things meant for you will come to your approach or should I seize every moment like it’s my last? I still haven’t done enough matter of fact I haven’t done anything. I feel paralyzed by inaction and stuck in a cycle of complaining to the page. Nevertheless, I’ve decided to apply both approaches at once. Using this fall semester as my jumping point. I’m dedicated to progress in all aspects of my life. I’m full of more unanswered questions than ever before. But I have a feeling I’m getting close, tiptoeing towards the unknown. Luckily, I’m finally ready to embrace chaos.