be bold and stand tall.

the focus of the last few years of my life has been change. As I grew into “adulthood”¹closing the chapter on my adolescence change worried me constantly. Whether that be in fear or desire for it. For a very long time change was my biggest fear. I lived in a constant cycle, convincing myself time and time again that I wasn’t capable or strong enough to endure change. Today I think about the phrase “people can’t change.” A sentiment I understand but as I continue to live becomes cloudy. I believe I change a little every day. Every day I live and grow further from my past self. Making decisions, actions and thoughts the old version of myself wouldn’t think to make. For a long time I thought change meant erasure. Changing meant forgetting and destroying the past. Almost as if change constituted a shame or dislike for who I used to be. Realistically no one claimed change to mean anything like that but often to me change meant drifting further away from the me I knew. Moving away from comfort and opening up oneself to the unknown.

The scariest thing about change is when someone recognizes it in you. You no longer are familiar, instead you’ve become this alien unrecognizable to others. That’s when I realized change isn’t singular, instead it’s flows constantly through all of us. The ebbs and flows of life force us to constantly reshape and shift our perceptions of one another continuously becoming reacquainted with this new version of ourselves. As we grow we become uninhibited, free-er and more certain in ourselves. At least that is my hope.

I no longer fear change. Nor do I accept the part of myself that still does.²Instead I will become a solider of it.

be bold my friends.

you mustn’t only fight for but live everyday in what you believe in.

1. oh brother! ur 18.

2. In case I am unknowingly still afraid